Attn: All Who Surfed the Seal Beach Pier Between 12 and 4pm

I considered filing this under missed connections on Craigslist but figured the blog would serve it better: You, in the black wetsuit and booties, on the 6'3 Merrick Black Beauty, not catching any waves. I couldn't help but notice those big blue eyes glaring at me, did we have a moment? Sorry I didn't introduce myself, I'm a bit shy. Anyways, my name is Where Eagles Dare, and I hope our paths will cross again someday...

No but seriously, I'm trying to get my shred on with my pal Andrew today but was being hindered by 4 or 5 angry red in the face shortboarders. I'd like to share with you some tips as to make your next session more enjoyable.

1. If it's knee high do not ride your shortboard, as you will not catch any waves and will quickly become frustrated and take it out on me for choosing the proper stick. I realize that Surfline says it's gonna be "3-5 ft. - waist to head high occasionally 7 ft. and fair+ conditions" but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to stand in the parking lot for 2 seconds and realize it's 2 foot and mushy as hell.

2. If the water is piss warm, do not wear your full suit and booties. Just looking at you makes my core temperature shoot through the roof.

Thats all for now folks...but one more thing, I find blog posts without pictures to be a bit lacking, so here are some pictures of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy spooning. Enjoy!