Still Looking for Personal Nemesis!!! (Long Beach, CA)
This posting is to find a suitable Nemesis. This is a part time position with very flexible hours and a rewarding work environment, assuming you enjoy continual battles of both mind & body for no pay. I’m looking for someone to be my arch-enemy; a foe that will keep me on my toes and up late at night worrying about what you’re plotting.Please note, I’m NOT looking for common enemies, thugs, minions, or henchmen. A proper nemesis is good at what they do, and observes the rules of respectable enemy-hood. Just being a jerk is not acceptable, the best adversaries respect each other, even if it’s hidden by a sneer and a flashing sword. Your job would be
A) Challenging & battling me openly in whatever manner and time you devise,
B) Concocting diabolical plans to make my life difficult (we’re talking clever plots, not just slashing my tires), and
C) Fending off my counter-attacks and schemes.
Qualities I’m looking for:
-Driven
-Imaginative
-A healthy sense of enmity
-A good evil laugh
-An enthusiasm for dramatic confrontations
-Reliability
Qualities I’m NOT looking for:
-Tardiness
-Bashfulness
-Crude/crass behavior (unless done in a clever way)
-Jerk behavior (just calling me a nasty name without good form, knocking ice cream out of kids’ hands for no reason, etc)
-Being a bad sport (it’s my job to defeat you, so don’t throw a fit if I do)
-Unprofessionalism
A little about myself as an adversary: I’m a 26 year old man, live in Long Beach, CA, and live a mild-mannered life (or do I…?). I’m trained in hand to hand fighting (what styles are my secret, you’ll discover them if you qualify and we battle), sword fighting, gun fighting (I’d prefer to avoid gun fighting. It’s just not classy, and true nemeses should look into their foes eyes over locked blades, not just pop a cap in ‘em.), and at least one secret specialty. I’m afraid of heights and spiders and grossed out by hair.
A more thorough list of strengths and weaknesses will be provided should we agree to become enemies. I offer a very competitive enemy package, and am proud to provide a head start to you by giving you more data to bring about my downfall. Please keep in mind that, while a big plus, experience in physical combat is not strictly required, as my nemesis you’d be encouraged to come up with plots and schemes to defeat me intellectually as well.
Please provide a description of you and your capabilities, including what style of nemesis you’d describe yourself as (ie. Mastermind, ninja, mad scientist, just plain crazy, etc.). Please don’t feel constrained by these suggestions, I’m an Equal Opportunity Enemy, and am open to all applications. This position offers a good deal of flexibility, and in the current economic climate I appreciate the difficulties facing a potential sworn foe and will do my best to accommodate time and financial limitations.
If this sounds like the adversarial opportunity you’ve been looking for, I hope to hear from you. I have a full list of Rules for Maintaining a Healthy Enmity that I can send over. We can talk a bit, get to know each other, and if things go well we can get right to the business of hating each other. I look forward to thwarting you!
-Ryan-
- Location: Long Beach, CA
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
1 comment:
Let's do it! Call him up!
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